Mont Humboldt - that voice in my head

When I am alone, particularly when hiking, I talk to myself. Not out loud, I'm far too introverted for that. Rather, I often find myself having conversations with myself, in my head. More correctly, they tend to be imagined conversations with another, as if planning for a discussion when we next meet, so that, like a cooking show, I could well say without irony on starting a conversation "Here's one I prepared earlier."

The people I imagine this process with are usually people in my acquaintance. I remember a time when every trip to the bush would be accompanied by an internalised debate with Sally, the creationist at work. But usually it's more convivial an exchange of ideas. Often, when I do meet the person with whom I imagined such a conversation they will say something completely different to what I had expected, for their representation in my head, although modelled on them, is obviously just my own mind speaking.

Once, when I was living in Cairns away from my friends, it became obvious that many of these imagined dialogues might never eventuate in reality. While this at first disturbed me, I soon realised that the process was enjoyable regardless, so I continued to have the discussions, no longer so worried about whether or not they would eventuate.

So it was somewhat odd to discover, on climbing Mont Humboldt, that there has been a shift in my mind. For where I once imagined what I would tell someone close to me about the hike, I now find myself imagining what I will write in my blog, playing with a particular turn of phrase, crafting it for effect. Some of my family have remarked on how long my blog posts are, labelling them epistles or epics, but what seems of most surprise is how I could write so much in so little time. Well now you know the answer, I am drafting and redfrating my posts whilst out in the bush, long before sitting in front of a keyboard.

Comments

[Jarrett]

I do both of these things as well, imagining conversations with others (not, as you know, as quietly as you do) as well as imagining blog posts. But I notice that most of my blog posts have a imagined reader in mind. It will be different people for different posts, sometimes friends and sometimes certain regular commenters on my blog. So in fact even my blog posts are imagined conversations, and of course no more accurate re the other person's input than any daydreamed conversation.